About four years ago, I decided that I wanted to do some busking...
Having played bass in bands for 30 odd years, and lead guitar on occasion, I realised that busking would completely take me out of my comfort zone and could help me to grow as a performer. I even went out and bought the gear to enable me to do it as well.
Then I bottled it for two years...
Then a pandemic happened...
It is fair to say that I was experiencing some anxiety about standing on a street and playing my mix of music to passers by and I was putting it off. The thought was terrifying!
In that period of time, what didn't really help with my anxiety was doing little solo gigs for parties and bars. These little gigs, I thought, would help me to feel better about busking, after all in the most part, the audience would be close friends supporting me. What could I possibly have to fear?
Whilst I have done quite a few gigs in this way, my anxiety about busking stayed with me until last Saturday when I believe I finally understood what was happening to me emotionally.
In Cambridge, I was given an opportunity to busk at The Mill Road Winter Fair. The pitch they gave me was not on Mill Road and the foot fall was going to be low. In many regards, this was going to be the perfect introduction to getting out there and just doing it. Apart from my wife, it was unlikely that I would know anyone whilst I was playing. For some, reason not knowing anyone, is so much easier for me!
Later in the day, I also had a slot at Romsey Mill, an organisation that I was raising money for with my busking. This slot would involve me playing in a cafe in front of people that I know as well as my wife's colleagues.
In theory, I was expecting to have some kind of crisis of confidence with the street busking and for the Romsey Mill gig to go plain sailing....
The Busking Slot
Whilst I was was indeed nervous on my way to the pitch, when I got there and set up my Roland Street Cube battery powered amp and got out my PRS SE Starla, something interesting happened. I started playing and singing and I started to talk with people who were walking by. I was making cheeky gestures to get people's attention and I was having so much fun. In that moment, I wasn't being a 'John Hicks' but I was being the entertainer who goes by the name of 'Blutone'. A subtle difference but one that made a huge difference to my confidence and allowed me to worry less about my lack of confidence and focus more on giving people a good time.
The experience felt joyful, my fingers worked well despite the cold and I think that my singing sounded better because I was less anxious and I was having fun.
Watch Blutone, singing The House of the Rising Sun whilst also blowing his nose! Keeping it real in the world of music! Ha!
Who knew that busking could be this good!!
The Romsey Mill Gig
If the busking went well, then this gig in a familiar place was going to be a piece of cake...
Interestingly whilst it was nice to play for Romsey Mill and raise money at the same time (Check out my Just Giving page here), sadly the nerves came back. In this place, people know me as John Hicks with some having more than a 20 year history of being friends with me. It was weird to be doing something that people simply wouldn't be expecting from me and I was back to worrying again.
I made more mistakes, my looper pedal became something that worked against me rather than for me and the level of anxiety took the shine off playing a little, compared to that of the busking slot.
That said, despite some nerves, I got a lovely warm welcome from those who came to listen and there were some moments that I could be proud of...
Blutone channelling his inner SRV!
Final Comments
So what did I learn? Well, for me, busking is fun. As a busker, I was able to be who I wanted to be without my own self-defeating beliefs getting in the way. It felt joyous. A release. I had a lot of fun.
When you are having fun, you don't get anxious and then everyone around you doesn't get anxious. OK, there were not loads of people around but that almost didn't matter.
The Romsey Mill gig, somehow triggered thoughts that put me off my game a little. Everyone there loved the set and all said how confident I looked, but I didn't feel like the entertainer, perhaps more an imposter!
This is all fascinating for me, because whilst I am late to the show in terms of my age and putting myself out there as an entertainer, I need the self-awareness in order to be able to up my game and be the entertainer that I want to be.
I have played guitar for 35 years but I haven't been an entertainer or front man, but for the first time since I have started this part of my journey I am starting to feel like 'Blutone the entertainer' is now finally starting to be born...
Watch this space...
In my gigs I was using the following gear:
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